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NST Online: StreetsJohor

Posted: 25 Jul 2011 07:21 PM PDT

LAST weekend, I met a family friend who knew that we had recently celebrated my grandma's 99th birthday.

She said she was looking forward to my grandma's 100th birthday party next year and would come even if she was not invited.

I assured her that she would be invited because, just a day ago, my cousin called from Sydney to say that a group of his friends would be flying here for the celebration.

Cousin Malcolm's Aussie friends felt they had to be a part of the 100th birthday celebrations because it was so rare. He reminded me that we should work on the event at least six months ahead and look for a venue, organise the guest list and think about how we can make it a grand celebration.

This reminded me of the privilege I had to dress grandma up for her recent birthday party.

With the help of the maid, I changed grandma's clothes, powdered her face and put on her pearl accessories.

Grandma's mental health has deteriorated so much that there are days when she can hardly recognise any one.

That was one of those days when I kept up my one-sided chat with her.

She smiled gently and cooperated as best as she could.

It was a very special time for me.

Before I presented grandma to the others, I gave her a warm hug and felt a sad rush of emotion because she could no longer reciprocate by hugging me back.

For almost 20 years grandma lived with us in Johor Baru. Our family planned our lives around her as she got older and needed more attention. Because my parents are also advancing in age, my aunts in Kuala Lumpur took over as grandma's primary carers.

On June 30, on the last train out from Tanjong Pagar Railway Station, I met a Malaysian working in Singapore who was going to Kuala Lumpur to be with her aged mother.

This was her weekend routine because she wanted to relieve her siblings who care for their mother during weekdays.

As we talked about the commitment to care for our elderly, we agreed that it's common for siblings to have different attitudes towards the elderly just as in the proverb, Dalam setandan pisang, tak semua buahnya matang secara serentak (not all bananas in a comb ripe at the same time) This means that people can be different even though they are from the same family.

This proverb was brought to mind painfully on July 13 when I received feedback from a reader, responding to my article, "Painful visits to the photo studio," published on this page on May 16.

The reader said she also had family photos like ours, with her sisters and only brother, smiling happily into the camera and ended the message with her best wishes and hopes that we never encounter the likes of her brother in our family.

T h at 's because her brother and his wife drove their father out of their home and she saw their father spend the last four years of his life, sad and disillusioned with his son.

Incidentally that day was also my brother's birthday and our family was together, having our usual dinner celebration.

As we were sharing family joy and unity, I had sobering thoughts about families who are struggling with issues of elderly care and being locked in legal fights.

It made me wonder if these people realise that they too will eventually age and their children are learning from their example to forsake their elders and create hostility among siblings for a larger chunk of the inher itance.

It's ironical that filial piety is practised in our Asian culture and the younger generation makes it a priority to pay respects to their elders at Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Deepavali and Chinese New Year.

Also in Asian society, the birth of a son is more important because they carry on the family name.

But, very often the sons neglect their ageing parents because they are simply selfish or are under pressure to please their wives.

Granted that most modern women have to juggle full-time careers and families and may not have the energy to manage the elderly. But, when children and grandparents live together, they benefit each other.

Youngsters learn to be patient and helpful and learn from the elders' rich experience while the elderly age with dignity.

Before grandma's mental deterioration, she had a vivid memory that was only rivalled by electronic d at a b a s e s.

Over the years, she has shared with me, many snippets of family history in Johor Baru and insights into the hard life during World War II and the Japanese Occupation.

My memories and experiences of living with her in Jalan Ngee Heng as a child and when she is with us in her twilight years are so precious.

This valuable information is safely filed away in my heart and mind. I can draw on this rich resource to add more colour and detail to my Johor stor ies.

I'm glad my parents showed by example that we ought to love and cherish our elders. Now expressing care and compassion comes naturally to my siblings and I.

It may cost a little more time, effort, sleep and money, but it matters that our elders are not cast aside to die in indignity.

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FARM FUN

Posted: 25 Jul 2011 10:26 AM PDT

Residents of Leisure Farm enjoy fresh produce and indulge in a host of activities at their annual fruit festival

FOR most people, Sunday is for sleeping in and general lazing about before the hectic work week begins all over again. Sivallingam Pichay, however, was not only determined to stay on his feet all day, but also to do some good.

He was not alone. The residents turned up in full force for the fun and festivities of Leisure Farm Resort Residence's annual fruit fest at Gelang Patah, recently.

The annual event was, after all, for a good cause. The proceeds from the stalls and services would go to the Amitabha Orphanage Johor Baru and Darul Hanan Orphanage, Pasir Gudang.

The community of neighbours and friends generously contributed to the cause by patronising the stalls set up by residents and well-wishers.

"Giving to charity is a good objective," said Sivallingam, a resident of Bayou Water Village in Leisure Farm. His wife and daughter had set up a stall selling cosmetics and ladies' sandals.

Suzana Ahmat's offer of express manicures at her stall was received by a steady queue of customers, who held out their hands to have their nails buffed and polished.

The children were just as satisfied with their "makeovers" at the face-painting stall. They gleefully opted to be transformed into ghouls while the adults ventured to sport small temporary tattoos on the cheek or shoulder.

Lau Chai Yong took the opportunity to sell her handicraft made of 100 per cent recycled materials to raise funds for the National Stroke Association of Malaysia.

Since 1992, Lau's hobby of creating practical and decorative items from paper and plastic has turned into a cottage industry.

In the playing fields, teams formed under the names of Mangosteen, Rambutan and Durian competed in games and telematches.

The event was filled with non-stop activities for the young and young-at-heart, who spent the day pony riding and playing challenge games like Toss-a-Ball, Hoopla and Burst-a-Balloon to win prizes.

The day's high point must be the Treasure Hunt, at which teams solved puzzles and met challenges on a trail around Canal Park.

The Cashew Tree team came out tops, followed by teams LOL and Stags, to land big prizes of hotel stays, restaurant vouchers and household items.

Fruit-tasting was the main attraction and the excitement in the air reached its height when a lorry arrived to unload some 800kg of durian, 250kg of mangosteen and 150kg of rambutan.

There was clearly no shortage of volunteers for the fruit-eating contest.

Participants raced to finish eating 15 rambutan and 15 mangosteen in five minutes.

"Must eat clean, uh!" the emcee warned only half in jest as he did not like to see good fruits wasted in the contestants' desire to win.

The response to the first race was so good that the organisers decided to have a second one.

With many still keen to take part, the organisers gave the ultimate challenge -- eat five rambutan and five mangosteen in one minute. Chang Yen Yin proved she was one speedy fruit eater.

After a short break, a long line formed for the durian session.

The queue that snaked around the event venue was far longer than the earlier one for freshly fried chempedak.

The durian lovers had their fair share of superior quality fruit in the D24, D2 and D13 species. Many could not resist going back again and again to help themselves to more of the plump, yellow flesh.

"It's just a half-hour drive," said Rosnani Samsudin to describe the daily commute between Leisure Farm and Singapore that she and her family make to go to work and to school.

"I can hear crickets in the morning instead of noisy vehicles," laughed her 14-year old daughter Khalisah Izzati Zambri, comparing her present lifestyle in Pinggiran Bayou Village Homes in Leisure Farm to her former one in Singapore.

She went on to say how she could jump, anytime she liked, into the swimming pool that was practically at her doorstep, and the wonder of seeing pretty dragonflies all the time in the gardens.

This fruit fest is their first experience of the neighbourliness of the Leisure Farm community.

Leisure Farm is a residential development in Gelang Patah, adjacent to the Second Link Expressway to Singapore.

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Kredit: www.nst.com.my

Selasa, 26 Julai 2011

NST Online: StreetsJohor

NST Online: StreetsJohor

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